


Praying (The Song of Feyre and Tamlin)

by glassandroses



Series: A Court of Thorns and Roses Oneshots [2]
Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Gen, Minor Feyre Archeron/Rhysand, No Feyre Archeron/Tamlin, Song: Praying (Kesha)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:40:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23402380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glassandroses/pseuds/glassandroses
Summary: A story in six parts, each telling the tale of Feyre’s forgiveness of Tamlin.
Series: A Court of Thorns and Roses Oneshots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1681879
Kudos: 8





	Praying (The Song of Feyre and Tamlin)

**Well, you almost had me fooled, told me that I was nothing without you. Oh, and after everything you've done, I can thank you for how strong I have become.**

I had the nightmare again tonight.

Streams of deep red blood flowed past my feet as I walked down the aisle. I was wearing the same, horrid wedding gown that I had worn years ago, but this time it appeared to be ripped to shreds and was stained with blood- my blood. I looked up and saw Tamlin and Ianthe in the distance, wearing sadistic and gruesome smirks. I tried to stop my feet from moving, but every attempt just made me approach them faster. I closed my eyes and prayed I would wake.

I was no longer in the Spring Court... I was Under the Mountain. Where Tamlin and Ianthe stood were now Amarantha and the Attor, staring at me ferociously. Tamlin was now standing beside me, pushing me towards them. I refused and screamed until my lungs burned.

"Feyre? _Feyre!_ " Rhys voice distantly called for me. I willed myself to open my eyes, I told myself I was safe, that I was okay. That I was dreaming and it wasn't real.

I woke to the calming dark and saw my mate staring at me, nothing but worry in his violet eyes. A sob racked my body and he held me as I cried.

"You're safe," he cooed as he stroked my hair, "you're not there anymore. You're free."

**I'm proud of who I am, no more monsters, I can breathe again. And you said that I was done, well, you were wrong and now the best is yet to come.**

I promised myself that I would never forget the words that he had said. The things he had done.

The moment he tore down our door in avenging his friend. My first day in the Spring Court. Calanmai. Under the Mountain. The day we were almost wed. The day he trapped me in his manor. When he sold out my sisters, turning them into Fae, and took me away from my home and my mate. The long days after. The way he treated me during meeting with the other High Lords. The war. The last words he said to me.

_"Be happy, Feyre."_

Such painful memories, memories I would never let myself forget. For I never, in the centuries I had to live, want to become like him. I never wanted to treat anyone like how he treated me.  
But I promised myself I would forgive.

**'Cause I can make it on my own, and I don't need you, I found a strength I've never known. I've been thrown out, I've been burned, when I'm finished, they won't even know your name.**

A normal night, a normal dinner, surrounded by my friends- my family. Everyone was eating, talking, laughing, enjoying life. It now finally settled within me that this was normal. I was not a guest or just a friend. I realized that I had let myself forget about the past, the war, everything I fought long and hard for to be here in this moment. I had begun to take it all for granted. I had let myself become content and carefree.

_Are you alright, my love?_

I looked across the table at my mate, who had paused his part in their conversation in concern for me. He was not Tamlin. They were not the Spring Court. I was not in the Spring Court. I was safe and free and utterly, extremely happy.

_"Be happy, Feyre."_

I gave him a smile- the same one I gave him on Starfall. _I'm okay._

Just for another night. I will let myself be happy for just another night.

**You brought the flames and you put me through hell, I had to learn how to fight for myself and we both know all the truth I could tell. I'll just say this is I wish you farewell.**

"Remember the night I offered to train you?" Cassian said as he leaned onto the wall across from me, "The first dinner at the House?"

"Of course," I replied, faintly smiling at the memory of that meal, "What about it?"

"I'm just very glad you took me up on my offer," He grinned at me.

I grinned back, "Why?"

Cassian smirked and lowered his voice, "Well, you're much easier to train than Nesta."

We both laughed at that. Nesta had refused to train with him almost every day since the war. "I'm sure I am."

Cassian's smile softened. "That's not all I was going to say..." He paused, "I'm just satisfied with how strong and wise you have become. It's made me very prideful in my High Lady. And I'm extremely honored and grateful that I was the one to train you."

I blushed and pulled Cassian to me, wrapping my arms around him. "Thank you, Cassian."

He hesitated, but returned the embrace, "Anything for you, my lady."

**Oh, sometimes, I pray for you at night. Oh, someday, maybe you'll see the light. Oh, some say, in life you gonna get what you give but some things, only God can forgive.**

I celebrated my eighth Starfall on the peak of the tallest mountain in Velaris.

Rhys had winnowed to the House for a bottle of wine and left me to gaze at the sky and stars as they flew past, like flocks of birds. But I was not focused on the stars; I could see the entirety of Prythian, all in pristine detail. I was still astounded by my still new Fae senses and powers. I could see buildings and people for hundreds of miles. Every court and the human lands.

My eyes swept over the Spring Court, the origin, my place of nightmares. I retracted my vision, but not before I saw them. Tamlin and a woman, his mate I assumed. I had heard the rumors that he had found his mate not long ago and the evidence proved them true. They seemed... happy.

Despite myself, I smiled. A smile created not from malice or revenge, but from forgiveness and release.

I could've sworn he smiled back.

**I hope you're somewhere praying, praying. I hope your soul is changing, changing. I hope you find your peace, falling on your knees, praying.**

_"I hope you find happiness too."_


End file.
